Closets are meant for clothes!

Illustrations by: Shreya Bhardwaj

This year marks the 50th anniversary of the Stonewall riots and people are talking about it way more than they did a year ago. It’s probably also because I’ve been recently exposed to a lot of stories regarding the struggles of not fitting in. In India, amidst other subjects of concern like poverty, illiteracy, equality and this damned heat, the issues regarding the LGBTQ community and their rights had been going unheard for a long time. Last year in September, the Supreme Court in a historic verdict, amended the article 377 of the IPC and the LGBTQ community was given the freedom of consensual sex. The court stated that as long as it is consensual, sexual orientation is natural and people have no control over it. The community still isn’t considered a marginalized sector isn’t given the protection it requires to truly survive in the society.

Even though it is a big deal in itself that the LGBTQ community somewhat got accepted by the government and the legal system of our country, it hasn’t really been accepted fully by our Indian minds. After extensive reading and one-on-one conversations with few members of the LGBTQ community, I tried taking the conversation to the next level. The digital world has so many platforms where one can see and understand the different types of people we are. The idea was to expose people to content that normalizes all kinds of communities and talks about them openly. It is something that needs to be talked about more and more until it becomes a part of our daily conversations. Until we talk about them on the basis of their careers, their success and their qualities as people and not just their sexual orientation. When I was going through this process with my family, friends and other people around, I came across a few things that I’d like to share today.

If we were to categorize all the different opinions people have regarding the LGBTQ community, there’d be three major heads under which these people could be divided. The first ones are the people without any knowledge, yet supremely strong opinions about the subject. These are the “earplugs 24×7” people. They have a lot to say but are not willing to listen to anybody else’s opinions. My all-time favourite statement is “It is not natural”. There are a lot of things happening on earth that were not natural at some point but are now occurring. Heavy rains in deserts, melting glaciers, untimely winters, extinction of animals that could have easily lived on beyond our civilization. Fortunately, being gay is not something nature decided to take a different course on. It has always been there. It is just more visible and vocal today. Humans are the ones with maximum emotional quotient among all animals. It enables them to feel love, anger, togetherness, loneliness, etc. way more than any other animal. Centuries ago, when a human lifespan was almost double than what it is today, and people were pros at reproducing at the rate of one child every nine months, human lives didn’t have the kind of worth they have today. Even if they knew they were different (which they did), they never had enough courage to come out and talk about it because the idea wouldn’t have been accepted by the majority. Today, the overall population and human lifespan have receded to an extent where each life seems more precious. As the total number of people narrowed down, more and more people started finding commonalities among other people based on interests (which is why the scope for creative fields and unconventional living has been on a constant rise), opinions, and sexual orientation. And communication is the key to everything. So yeah, it was always the way nature wanted it to be. Another concern people brought up was about how men and women coming together to reproduce is our reason for existence. In humans, reproduction these days is becoming more and more complicated. For some, it’s an easy task, whereas some spend a lifetime waiting for a child of their own. Our hormones have changed with time and humans are in the midst of a new phase of evolution. Thanks to one of the few good things which came out of screwing up the earth, technological advances. Humans can now have a child through many mediums like IVF or surrogacy and other more appreciated methods like adoption. There is no longer a need to spend an entire lifetime lying about one’s own existence. “Planned parenthood” is one of the platforms that supports and spreads awareness about such unconventional subjects so that all the lying and hiding can stop for once and for all.

The second kind of people are either the people with little knowledge about the community and completely against it, or people who do understand fully but are still tied to the chair of society and are too scared to accept and support. the “neither here, nor there”. On the outside, they pretend to be okay with people being gay, transgender or queer, but when it happens to someone they know about or their own family member, they immediately switch to not being okay with it. Our country is filled with this category of people. People who make what is called “gay jokes” and try to pass it as normalizing the issues. These people suggest the members of the LGBTQ community stay closeted and extend support in keeping the truth hidden. These people are okay with Karan Johar and Ellen Degeneres being gay, but not their own sons and daughters. These people are silent spectators during protests with no side to pick. It is disappointing and disheartening to personally know this set of people.

The third category of people are the ones who are willing to raise their voice against this injustice. People who are open to analyze even themselves to find out about their true sexual orientation (which everyone should). The “we have your backs” gang. Acceptance of one’s gay qualities is a unique, character-building experience that gay folks can accept or postpone indefinitely. When your biologically rooted personality or orientation is condemned by religionists, opportunistic politicians, social institutions, the media, and your own family, knowing you can’t change your sexual orientation, people learn to be dishonest about it. We need more of those who are part of the community without actually being a part of it. People who with time understood the value of the lives affected during the Stonewall riots. They know gay people, they accept them, love them the same, support them and eventually help them in the process of coming out to the world. Keeping a part of yourself hidden away from the world forever is saddening (except if you’re a serial killer, then go ahead).

Celebrating an entire month and calling it “Pride” is just one of the many things we can do to cherish each unique identity proudly. and our right to love whomever we wish however we wish. This country has a long long way to go but if reading this brings any kind of change in the point of view of even one person, then all this writing was definitely worth it!

Here are a few thoughts from people you might know to add some masala to the influencing game:

1. “I hate the word homophobia. It’s not a phobia. You’re not scared. You’re an asshole.” – Morgan Freeman
2. “It takes some intelligence and insight to figure out you’re gay and then a tremendous amount of balls to live it and live it proudly.”- Jason Bateman
3. “Let me tell you about gays in the military. I don’t want any gay people hanging around me while I’m killing kids. I just don’t want to see it.” –Bill Hicks
4. “What people do in their own homes is their business, and you can choose to love whoever you love.” – Jay-Z
5. “Being gay is natural. Hating gay is a lifestyle choice.” – John Fugelsang
6. “Marriage should be between a spouse and a spouse, not a gender and a gender.” – Hendrik Hertzberg
7. “When all Americans are treated as equal, no matter who they are or whom they love, we are all more free.” – Barack Obama

Illustrations by: Shreya Bhardwaj